the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
MIDGETS
????
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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