I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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