Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
