WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
