I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
