Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
