my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
