i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize