I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
