Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the day after is always just damage control
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
