Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
