Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
