then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
