I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize