this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's shark week go big or go home
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