Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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