hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
