Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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