So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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