we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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