what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
