ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
