I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
