Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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