Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
