her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
