as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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