he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
