do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
