he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
