...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
