How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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