it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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