I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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