My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize