I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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