I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
