I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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