:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
