tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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