Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
