So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
