it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
