He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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