That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This baby is an asshole
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
