if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
