Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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