i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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