My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
