All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
