and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
