I didn't shave. On purpose
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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