just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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