My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
