: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize