This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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