the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
