I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
