Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She's JV to your varsity
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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