I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
