I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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