Plan B is the new Plan A
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
