wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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