i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
