For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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